I Came, I Saw, I Thought About Rome

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I Came, I Saw, I Thought About Rome
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Shouts & Murmurs by Dan Amira: Talking Caligula around the water cooler and daydreaming, in meetings, about gladiators with fire swords—recipe for success?

“How often do men think about ancient Rome?” —Headline in the Washington Post. Each week, Man Magazine asks an ordinary man to keep a diary of a typical day. Here is our latest installment. October 9, 2023 7:30 A.M.—My alarm sounds. I grab my phone and glance at the news. Congress is debating the Pentagon’s budget today, and I am reminded that spending on costly military ventures contributed to the Roman Empire’s economic collapse. 8:30 A.M.—I hop on the L train for my commute to work. 8:32 A.M.

It quickly becomes apparent that she’s breaking up with me. I ask her what I did wrong, and she says I talk about the Roman Empire too much. I ask her how often she thinks about it and she says never, which is obviously a lie. We argue for hours. My tears flow like water through an aqueduct. 10:17 P.M.—I leave the restaurant. Dejected and alone, I aimlessly wander the streets—a vast network of roads, much like those which traversed the Roman Empire, in that they were also roads.

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