Gabe Marks and former Washington State players work to improve mental health programs in football after teammate Tyler Hilinski's suicide 4 years ago.
The notes of smooth jazz float through Gabe Marks’ office in Mar Vista, a blank space devoid of fuss.
Suddenly, the concept of mortality didn’t seem so far off. Marks was one of many from those Cougars teams on the fringes of professional football, and the circumstances of the loss made them turn inward, finally addressing the anxieties from a career under the spotlight that they all felt but never discussed.A few years later, Marks is practicing at Mission Harbor Behavioral Health, inspired to one day serve as a counselor for professional teams and players.
On Jan. 16, 2018, Hilinski missed a Lyft ride to a workout earlier in the day. Nobody had heard from him — out of character for a gym rat like Hilinski. A strength coach sent Begg and linebacker Peyton Pelluer, Hilinski’s roommates at the time, to track him down.They went searching through town, talking to Hilinski’s brother, hearing of a text sent to an ex-girlfriend.They went back to Hilinski’s old apartment, Begg said. Management wouldn’t give them a key.
“Someone like that might be scared to show weakness, in that he knows that this is who he is and that this is what people expect out of him,” Begg said. As Marks stepped away from football, he began to notice how many were in his same position — guys who’d thrived in college but now felt lost without their emotional outlet.
Now, Marks hopes to help those who have charted his path before — those with unresolved traumas, or who just feel weighed down by the pressure football brings.He’d focus on drinking water. Maybe, on good days, he’d choke down a waffle. But if he tried to gulp down other solid food, he’d vomit.
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