How to talk to your children about modern football's most sensitive subjects

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How to talk to your children about modern football's most sensitive subjects
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Football in 2023 can provoke far more difficult questions than just transfers and tactics - how should you navigate the moral maze?

Talking about Premier League football in 2023 increasingly feels as though it requires a law degree, or at the very least a basic understanding of things like parole and bail conditions. “that, in the last 18 months, six of the 20 Premier League clubs have employed players at different stages of criminal investigations into alleged sexual offences.”

“Our parenting choice was to tell him the truth as he heads into Year 8,” he reported. “Was that right?”Controversies around the sport are nothing new; rampant hooliganism in the 1970s, star names such as Paul Gascoigne, George Best and Stan Collymore assaulting their partners, overt racism and homophobia going completely unpunished, chants celebrating tragedies affecting rivals… we could go on.But this feels different.

For those who work in the game and have young families, it can be even more difficult to avoid the challenging topics. Broadcaster Jacqui Oatley has a nine-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter and says she believes it is important for them to “understand talking points” so they are not shocked when they come up in conversation at school or elsewhere when she is not with them.

“When I was seven, I was climbing up trees and playing out in the fields on my own with friends. Whereas the average age at which parents would typically allow their children out to play on their own has gone up significantly in the last 20 years, it’s now 10 or 11. She adds, “So, ‘Why is it that some men are treating women in this way and don’t see women as being equal?’. That’s a really useful conversation to have because it’s totally relatable to their own environment at school or to their friendships outside of school.

It is important for parents to be aware of what their children are watching, O’Rourke says, and to have a conversation with them about it. “They might be watching some of that stuff but not necessarily agree with it, or just want to know, ‘What is it that Andrew Tate has been saying about this or that?’. But if they are watching an awful lot of it, then having the space to talk about it is important.“Everything is an opportunity to think about what the issues are.

“So I would think of saying something like, ‘Gosh, it’s horrible sometimes what people can do and say to each other’. And it can be really helpful for a parent to own the feelings that they have about it. That’s one way to make the conversation feel safe for the child to share their feelings. So as a parent, you might say, ‘When I read that story about that footballer, I felt really horrible and sad inside that somebody could have done that’.

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