When you’re Muslim, avoiding Christmas can be a sport, and I’m a star player.
—not a Christmas tree, understand, just a nice evergreen tree with decorations on it that we put up in December—and one Muslim friend acted like he was going to carry it out of my living room.
This first tip is essential: Avoid the mall at all costs. Unless you enjoy being accosted by Mariah Carey and songs about it being cold outside, just don’t shop at the mall. I can tolerate Christmas music to some degree, but there’s so much time between “Christmas season” and the actual holiday that by the time we make it to Dec. 25, it’s too exhausting. If you’re down for holiday sales, but not down for holiday cheer, shop online.
My favorite thing to do during Christmas is mobbing. That’s Jersey lingo for when you gather with all your favorite people and take over any area with sheer numbers. On Christmas morning, while everyone is home unwrapping presents and watching aover and over again on TBS, town squares are completely deserted.
Note: Candy canes are not allowed. No exceptions. If you’re anything like my family, you already stocked up on Halloween chocolates immediately after they went on sale, so you’ve got no need for that anyway.
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