Not everyone defines 'rough sex' the same way, so it's imperative to make your preferences and limits clear.
, a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. Here, she answers a question about rough sex., but he assumes it means really intense things like choking or slapping me in the face. I don't like those specific activities, but he sees it as black and white.
Choking, in particular, can be dangerous if you don’t know the specific technique to use , and it requires a lot of communication between partners to get right. Slapping can also be harmful if done on extra-sensitive parts of the body or with the wrong technique. Choking and slapping can have emotional impacts, too, and often require proper aftercare.
You said you’ve told your partner that you like "rough" sex, but I’m not sure if you shared your specific definition of. Everyone has a different understanding of what that word means. If you haven’t had an open conversation with your partner about not wanting to be choked or slapped, you definitely need to do it immediately.have another conversation
about what you’re looking for. Explain to him that "rough sex" isn’t a catch-all phrase for you. In fact, I would stop using the phrase "rough sex" entirely, since he clearly has his own idea of what that means, and it doesn’t fit in with your definition. Instead, I would tell him the specific activities that youwant him to do.
to you, and calls you a bad girl? The more detailed you can get, the better. It may even help to draw out a chart for him, with
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