Your stories of loving—and losing—your beloved animal companions. Plus, an end-of-life veterinarian offers advice on knowing when to say goodbye.
Zac:I named them Guapo and Bonita. Rarely a day goes by that I don't think about Lola. This is Death, Sex & Money. I’m Anna Sale.
Anna Sale: And for more than a few of you, grieving your pet allowed you to closely examine your feelings around loss, and end of life.Helping my cat transition was the first time in my life that I could, um, wrap grief in love, and feel it, and observe the shape of it, and experience it as connected to life, to care, to change, and to gratitude.
Anna Sale: For Jenn, a listener who emailed us from New Hampshire, losing a pet brought up feelings of guilt, because her attention shifted when she became a parent.My pet death story is one of repentance. When my husband and I were first married, we had three cats together. Our cats enjoyed a lot of love and attention until our first child was born. I'm ashamed to say that I became one of those moms so in love with her kid that I pushed my fur babies aside.
And, um, of course I did. I reached under the blanket and I held her little paw. And I just remember asking her like, what, what happened Mimi? Like, what happened? Um, I've had to put down pets before and it's always a tough decision, but there's a sense of grace to it because you can hold them as they pass and transition, and there's a sense of comfort to that, a sense of a sense of ending and release. And I didn't get that with Mimosa.
Nadia was the first dog Alex had as an adult, and she was with him when he met his now-husband, and also when Alex was diagnosed with cancer and went through treatment. Then late last year, Nadia was diagnosed with cancer.I had always thought, um, it's a dog, I'm not gonna do anything, but I, I was that person that we're doing anything and everything to save this dog. We did her surgery, we did overnights, and then the pathology came back as cancerous.
And one of the last conversations I had with Erik, was please don't make us have a hard decision because I don't know if I have the strength to make that decision. And please, if you decide to go, wait until I am home. And he did. I was home for just a very quick weekend between work projects, and my husband and I went fishing, and I had settled him up against some pillows in the living room, and we came home and I walked in the living room and he was dead.
Anna Sale: A lot of us don’t know how to feel better after we lose a pet. When I asked you to share things that have helped you, some of you sent your favorite Mary Oliver poems, others sent recommendations for psychics and animal communicators, and one of you shared a YouTube link to Jimmy Stewart reading a poem about his dog Beau on Johnny Carson right after Beau died. Both men ended up with tears in their eyes.
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