How To Keep COVID-19 From Ruining Your Sex Life? We Asked The Experts

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How To Keep COVID-19 From Ruining Your Sex Life? We Asked The Experts
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Yes, it’s still possible to have a “hot date” while social distancing. WBEZ checked in with therapists about how to keep relationships healthy while coronavirus keeps you apart — or together.

The coronavirus pandemic is putting pressure on every aspect of life — including relationships.

Therapist Megan Salisbury said many of her clients are polyamorus and have multiple romantic partners. She said they need to have safety protocols to limit their individual risks of infection. That often means spending some time physically apart, she said.Therapist Megan Salisbury said enjoy what is currently possible. Schedule a virtual happy hour. Light candles and order out from the same restaurant. Send a date ingredients, and ask them to make up a recipe.

"It can be explicit or implicit as you'd like," she said."It doesn't have to be the sort of traditional phone sex type of thing. It can just be a shared experience that you're self pleasuring hearing the other person on the line. Or telling them when you get off the phone that 'I'm gonna go pleasure myself and think of you.'"Sex therapist Melissa Novak said she's telling her clients to not make life-altering decisions during a public health crisis.

"Self touch towards erotic pleasure, self touch toward soothing pleasure, self touch toward pain reliving pressure," she said."When somebody says, 'I really want physical affection,' they should ask themselves — well, what is that? What is about somebody else touching your arms? Think creatively that we can do that."Sex therapist Melissa Novak said it depends whether you view distance as a barrier or an opportunity to strengthen your connections.

"Eventually we all get burned out," she said."There is a weight that comes with this pandemic."The big thing that we have to work on is trying to [communicate] in a more lighthearted way. Not just having serious conversations — how do you insert levity and playfulness?"Therapist Megan Salisbury said life during the stay at home order is a chance to interact with our partners in new and creative ways. But people should also carve out alone time.

"We're allowing ourselves opportunity to deescalate individually and as a couple emotionally," Salisbury said, and suggested reaching out to a couple's therapist if you can't resolve the problem. Many offer single video sessions.

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