Young men may give off the appearance of being successful in their first year of college, but sometimes they can be concealing academic failures and poor habits like smoking and drinking too much.
Psychologist John Duffy, author of"Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety," practices in Chicago. He specializes in work with teens, parents, couples and families.
When a young man I work with in my therapy practice headed off to college in 2019, his future looked bright. He made friends, joined a fraternity, and reported to his parents that he was adjusting well, thriving socially and doing well in classes. The reality was much darker. He stopped attending classes after the first week. He began smoking weed throughout the day. He started binge-drinking and playing video games nearly all the time, switching up whom he spent time with every few hours to elude detection.He told nobody, at that point, what was really going on in his life.
Boys remain reluctant to share their emotional lives, especially their struggles, with one another. Even in situations where discussing mental wellness is normalized, they still feel a degree of shame around feelings of depression and anxiety. The more we encourage our boys to share emotionally, the better they will be at staving off these difficulties. If you have a rising freshman boy, or girl for that matter, talk to them about this phenomenon.
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