Bullying in preschool is real. Here’s how to help your child deal with bullies—and what to do if your child is bullying others.
Bullying is defined as unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power where a child uses their physical strength, knowledge or popularity to control or harm others, and that’s repeated or has the potential to happen more than once.
Bullying in preschool can take on many forms, including physical, verbal and social. “In preschool, bullying is more physical, such as pushing, shoving and making faces,” says, MD, a clinical psychologist at Doctor On Demand. “But preschoolers also demonstrate social isolation, usually in the form of not including a child in play or sharing things. Name calling is also common, and they frequently mimic words they’ve heard from older siblings, parents or adults.
Preschool bullies often target what sets a child apart, such as delayed language or speech, using a pull-up diaper or even the clothes they wear and the lunches they bring to preschool.
It could also be an attempt to seek the attention or acceptance of classmates, or because they’ve become victims of bullying themselves, either at school or at home at the hands of a sibling or parent. In that instance, “the child who’s the victim in their own family can’t contain the hostility and their rage leads them to become a bully,” Walfish says. “They go to school or out into the world and look for an easy target. Then, they expel their hostilities onto another innocent victim.
Often, with preschool-aged kids, they are simply unable to grasp how this behavior makes the bullying victim feel.Learning that your child is being bullied is of course distressing. “Just like in any age, bullying affects the child’s feelings and causes sadness,” Mayer says. “It can scar them and prevent them from forming friendships and learning social skills.
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