‘How can I be fair to both?’: I spent $20,000 more on my daughter’s education than my son’s education. Should I level the playing field — and invest $20,000 in stocks for my son’s retirement? The Moneyist quantanamo replies:
I have a boy and a girl, both great kids and both in college. When they were teenagers my wife died, which left them with varying levels of trauma. My son was 14 and my daughter was 16, and it hit my daughter harder. My son is naturally very gifted and is about to graduate with a degree in mathematics from a major university. He works hard, but not too hard. He is gifted.
My daughter struggled more than my son after my wife’s death and went to college with little direction for a couple years, majoring in communications. When she changed schools and majors to go into engineering very little of her degree transferred. I have given my daughter far more money for college. I have paid tuition for both kids, they pay their own living expenses after two years in the dorms.
I would appreciate your thoughts. I love my kids and want them to have the life they deserve but I want to be fair to both.Dear Father, You all have gifts, even if some are less visible than others. The ability to persevere and show compassion are gifts too. Your children have worked hard to get to where they are, and they have processed and overcome the death of their mother in their own ways.
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