DearPrudie: I feel totally unreasonable about this, but I hate their friendship.
I feel totally unreasonable about this, but I hate their friendship. I know nothing will happen between them, both because of her sexual orientation and because he’s trustworthy, but every time she is around all they do is talk about the good old days and all the stuff they’ve done together. It makes me feel like a third wheel. I’m also uncomfortable by the fact that when they dated, she looked astoundingly like me.
If you two make real progress on this front and you decide you’re comfortable offering her a guest room, great! And that doesn’t mean you have to clear out of the house during every one of her visits. You don’t have to go along with them every time they catch up if you know they’re going to spend time talking about old friends and memories. Instead, do something that sounds fun for.
This woman abused you for years and terrorized you long after you broke up with her and moved away. You’re terrified at the thought of her becoming responsible for something as small and vulnerable as a baby, because you know better than most just how dangerous she is. And the hard-won peace you’ve achieved has been disrupted as you’ve thought more about your ex recently.
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