'This hasn't been easy and there were a lot of ups and downs. But I don't regret even the ugliest things that have happened to me.'
with drugs and alcohol first began when she was just 15 years old and someone on her team started offering her “happy pills” before she'd walk the red carpet. She explained, “They were to make me peppy during interviews. I had no idea that this was not an appropriate thing, or what door that would open for me when it came to my addiction.” Soon, she was drinking and taking opioids as her career continued to skyrocket.
Around 2014, following the birth of her daughter, the actor confessed, “Those were really tough years,” adding that a lot of her character's storylines onabout alcoholism and postpartum depression “hit close to home.” She sought treatment for her depression at the time, but continued to struggle with substance use disorder and became increasingly reliant on alcohol just to get through the day.
While Panettiere didn't drink during her pregnancy, she says that after Kaya was born she quickly started again. She explained, “I never had the feeling that I wanted to harm my child, but I didn't want to spend any time with her. There was just this gray color in my life.” She started sneaking away to drink in private and her relationship with Klitschko also took a serious hit. “He didn't want to be around me,” she recollected. “I didn't want to be around me.
When her alcohol use reached its worst point, Panettiere revealed, “I would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol.” Ultimately, she had to make the difficult decision in 2018 to send her daughter to live with Klitschko in Ukraine while she tried to get her substance use disorder under control. She said, “It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I wanted to be a good mom to her—and sometimes that means letting them go.
Eventually, Panettiere, who was suffering from jaundice, had to be hospitalized. “Doctors told me my liver was going to give out. I was no longer a 20-year-old who could just bounce right back,” the actor said. Following that hospital stay, she entered rehab for eight months which she says provided her with the tools to “get over the hump” of substance use disorder. Panettiere concluded, “It's an everyday choice, and I'm checking in with myself all the time.
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