Harriette Cole: She should be happy about the breakup, but she’s drinking and skipping work

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Harriette Cole: She should be happy about the breakup, but she’s drinking and skipping work
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How can I keep her from going back to this toxic relationship?

She was so consumed by the relationship that, now that it’s over, she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

I am worried about her. I’ve been trying to support her, but it seems like nothing is helping. My worst fear is that she’ll end up going right back to him.: Some people believe that they are addicted to bad relationships and cannot find a way to extricate themselves. The energy is so strong and compelling that it can feel like a drug. This may be what your friend is feeling. She seems to be wrapped up in his energy right now.

Disentangling from a messy relationship takes time, patience and support. Professional help may give her the tools she needs to begin to notice a partner who is a better match for her rather than slipping back into old patterns.: Every year, people remember 9/11 for the horror of the day and also the solidarity that it brought to our country. I wasn’t born until after it happened, so I only know it from reading and from my parents’ recollections.

On a personal level, you can look for ways to promote peaceful engagement among people who may not share the same views. Look for organizations that focus on building relationships between people across generations, political ideologies and backgrounds. I believe that the way that we will ultimately create peace is to learn to listen to each other and respect our similarities and differences. This is much harder to do than to say out loud.

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