Harriette Cole: My girlfriend won’t throw out these gifts from her ex

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Harriette Cole: My girlfriend won’t throw out these gifts from her ex
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Plus: I’m with this friend 80% of the time, and it’s getting old.

Rather than automatically wanting her to expunge any memory of him from her life, learn about her past. Allow her to learn about yours as well, and see where this path of mutual discovery leads you.My friend and I are together probably 80% of the time. I spend pretty much every weekend with her, and we see each other most weeknights.

It is rare that I make plans without her, but it does happen. Sometimes I would prefer to do certain things without her. She doesn’t seem to want to do anything without me, though, so I don’t think she fully understands this concept. How do I make her understand that I don’t always want to include her in my plans without making her feel like our friendship is unimportant?You have created high expectations that likely make your friend believe that you two do everything together. You may want to start by reducing the amount of time you are together. What about having some alone time, just for you? That would be beneficial for your life anyway. You can let her know that you need to be alone sometimes.

You will need to tell her that you go out with others sometimes so that her feelings aren’t crushed when she discovers this. She may not understand, but you need to attempt to get her to accept that you love her and enjoy her company — and you also enjoy spending time with others.

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