“If someone you’re dating makes you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your own financial situation, that’s a red flag. This topic should be a no-shame zone when it comes to dating.”
indicated that financial issues are a leading cause of divorce in the US, along with things like infidelity and basic incompatibility.
“It is completely appropriate during the dating phase to inquire about a person’s financial status and goals, at an appropriate timeline,” said Liz Higgins, a relational therapist and founder of . “Meaning, you may not ask about these details on the first date, but after some months of dating and if the relationship seems to be heading in a more serious direction , at that point it becomes appropriate to inquire a little more about a person’s state of financial health.
Many people use “the waiter rule” to evaluate potential partners. The idea is simple ― you can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat service workers. And tipping plays a big part in that. If they can’t provide any insight into their needs and goals, you won’t know if you have shared values and can make important decisions together. Having debt is not itself a red flag, but the way someone handles it might be.
“A red flag is if they are borrowing money to make ends meet,” Carson said. “This could mean that they are overextended on their credit or don’t manage their money well. It would be important to understand if this a short-term cash flow issue or a signal to a larger issue.”“A healthy relationship is built in part on shared values with money touching a lot of these values,” Said noted.
The first step to determining if you can find financial compatibility is to look inward and understand your own goals and priorities.
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