'Perhaps there’s a simple explanation for trans people loving Fight Club: A lot of people loved Fight Club. But I’m convinced there’s a deeper, less immediate reason. Transformation plays a vital role in the novel.' abmcelroy1 writes
Photo: 20th Century Fox/Kobal/Shutterstock A few months ago, a friend and I were hanging out beside an abandoned baseball field reflecting on the hypermasculine activities we loved before we came out. I, for instance, loved — “loved” — paintball and Maglites and Anna Nicole Smith, and I continue to fawn over unhinged action movies, those of the Cruise and Cage variety. I obsessed over these things partly to hide my ongoing doubt about my assigned gender identity.
I first came to Fight Club the way many people did: through the movie. The summer I turned 12, my older cousins named all their video-game characters Tyler Durden. I was eager to get the reference — they refused to explain it to me — so I ordered the film through my mom’s satellite subscription. It did not instill in me a desire to fight or become a Real Man. The literal physics of the final gunshot confused me.
In college, I decided to become a Serious Writer and abandoned Palahniuk. As I fell for the work of Mavis Gallant and Deborah Eisenberg and James Baldwin and others, my love for novels like Fight Club embarrassed me. How could something so pulpy and corny spur my love of reading? But I’ve come to accept that we rarely get to choose what speaks to us on a subcutaneous, languageless level and that hiding my love for the novel meant hiding something essential about me.
I did not set out to write a trans novel, and many readers would say that I haven’t. My book does not center trans characters — though some have read Dyson’s childhood as that of a closeted trans woman — and in terms of representation, it has little in common with novels like Detransition, Baby and Summer Fun and Confessions of the Fox and Future Feeling. But the novel unconsciously expresses my desire to escape the gender binary.
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