'I've been wearing a mask my whole life': Model Nathan Westling comes out as transgender in a CNNStyle exclusive:
When I ask Nathan Westling what he sees in the mirror, he describes"a masculine version of my old self." His red hair is shorn short, his voice has deepened and his face seems more angular, despite the fact he's about 20 pounds heavier than he was six months ago.
But by last April, his priorities had shifted from his career to himself. After a decade spent receiving therapy and medication for depression, anxiety and anger issues, he finally decided to address what he'd always known to be the underlying problem. To do so, he decamped from his base in New York to Los Angeles to begin transitioning from life as Natalie to life as Nathan.
He's also candid about growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona, where"they look at the people like me -- or any gay, lesbian people, anybody in the LGBT scene -- as freaks because they're just ignorant, they're not educated." At his 3,000-plus-student high school, Westling remembers meeting only one openly gay student, and feeling he had no one with whom to safely discuss his gender dysphoria. But those feelings, he says, went back much further than high school.
in 2015."So when the doors were opened for me, I walked right through. And then the doors slammed ... Once the doors closed, I was no longer a woman and I no longer got the respect of a woman. People who used to say 'she' now said 'he,' and it's not who I am and it's not the person that I identify with. It's like you, as a person, no longer exist.
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