Dear Mom, I Finally Get It Now

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Dear Mom, I Finally Get It Now
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Dear Mom, I am sorry I had no idea how hard you worked. And how unappreciated you were. But I get it now, because I'm living it.

One of my most vivid childhood memories was waiting in the car, for my mom. Whether we were heading to school or running errands or going to Grandma’s house, I can picture my sister and me, in the car, waiting. Annoyed.WeGood Lord, do I know now. And Mom, I am sorry. I know that we probably left a trail of clothes, shoes, papers, books, toys, cups, and plates everywhere, giving zero fucks if we came home to a disaster of a house. But you cared.

I also know that maybe you were taking a couple sips of that coffee you perked four hours earlier and never drank. Or grabbing a bite of breakfast, since it was 11 a.m. and you probably hadn’t eaten, but we had. They finally saw smoke come out of my ears, got their shit together, and listened. I watched them pile into the van, mumble under their breath something about “why was Mommy yelling?” and close the door. And I took a breath. I didn’t move. I didn’t get my shoes or coat on or grab my keys for several minutes. I stood there, in my quiet kitchen and breathed.

Even though we griped about the stew you made, you cooked dinner again the next night. Even though we whined about cleaning our rooms, you forgave our attitudes and patiently mothered us through the teenage years. And even though we didn’t often say thank you, you kissed us goodnight and said “I love you.”

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