I know people mean well, but I sincerely hope they rethink ever saying this 'comforting' comment to adoptive mamas again.
Now it brings a different problem because my daughter is getting old enough to hear it too, and will start to understand what that actually means.I think we can all agree this isn’t something that is actually meant to be mean in any way, but what I hear in that comment is that my daughter is just a means to an end.
It makes me feel like people are saying she’s not enough, and in a few short years, it will make her feel that way too, when she hears it.Adoption is just another way of having a child. It does not attempt to replace, it does not fix, and believe me – the process of adoption definitely doesn’t take your stress away so you can conceive.
If you’ve thought that, then you’ve probably not been involved in an infertility or adoptive situation. The truth is, in many cases, a couple that has trouble conceiving doesn’t find the magic bullet in adoption. At the end of the road, adoption does not cure infertility for many people. I understand that unless you have had someone close to you adopt that you might not believe you are saying anything that could come off wrong. This is something my husband has to remind me of, and I struggle with it.
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