You’ll either have to choose the friendship, or be what you call a realist with a new set of friends.
Four ladies and I have been friends for over 25 years. We’ve been through marriages, divorces, kids and grandchildren. We’ve been on vacations, had family parties together, and retirement celebrations. Some of us have relationships, some of us don’t, but we still meet up at least once a week and do things together.
I’m the realist in the group, and if there is an issue, I try to resolve it. We’re mature enough in age to deal with issues and be honest about it. They don’t like it and say I’m being unpleasant and don’t want to be around me like this. Then the last couple of months, I’ve been left out. I miss them but don’t think it’s fair I can’t be honest. Do I just let this go or try to confront them?How nice to have such good friendships for so many years.
You have matured into what you consider honest and free-flowing opinions. Your friends are not in that same place and consider your honesty to be negativity. It sounds like they just want to enjoy life as they continue to age instead of finding issues. There are two ways for this to go. One is to reach out and talk to them without confrontation. Understand their point of view and continue the friendship. They will appreciate the gesture with kindness instead of issues. The other way is to move on. Maybe you’ll see them periodically, but the avoidance of your presence will continue if you still find the need to be “Honest Hanna.”
So you’ll either have to choose the friendship, or be what you call a realist with a new set of friends. The choice is yours.
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