I am the rock of the family. If someone needs help, I’m the one they come to. Recently, my nephew has been in a downward spiral because of drugs.
He is only 19 and was always an amazing young man, but he started on the wrong road after witnessing his father take his own life a few years ago. When he gets out of jail, he wants to start over -- come live with me, go to rehab and begin a new life.
My problem is my fiancé. He does not want to help my nephew, especially if he will be on house arrest. I know my nephew’s potential, and I can’t throw him away and refuse to help. How do I get my fiancé to understand this without jeopardizing our relationship? -- CARING AUNT IN INDIANA DEAR AUNT: It may be a challenge, considering the role you have assumed as “the rock of the family.” What your nephew witnessed was horrific. Compounding the tragedy is the fact that he didn’t receive counseling for the trauma and turned instead to drugs.
I understand your desire to take in your nephew, and I also understand your fiancé’s reluctance to have a substance-addicted relative under house arrest in your home. Perhaps you could agree to a compromise. Lock up your valuables and give your nephew a temporary tryout with the understanding that if he lapses, he goes straight to rehab and a halfway house. You could then support his recovery in other ways, like helping him find a group such as Survivors of Suicide or one that supports sufferers of PTSD.
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