About a year ago, a young single guy moved in next door. Jana and “Aiden” took an immediate liking to each other. She’s 64, and he’s 35.
Aiden is on permanent disability, has never had a job and is heavily into drugs. He does odd things like walking down the middle of the street draped in blue lights and sitting in the middle of the street. The police have been called on him so many times he was almost kicked out of the neighborhood.
He and Jana were together all the time -- calling, texting and talking in person. They don’t meet so often now because we’ve had so many arguments about it. I was jealous in the beginning. Now I just don’t like her hanging out with him. She still calls and talks to him, but now she does it only when I’m not around. There doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it. He’s always outside walking around in front of the house. It makes me very uncomfortable. I’d really appreciate any advice you can give me. -- ANXIOUS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR ANXIOUS: Nothing will change until you get to the bottom of why your girlfriend continues to pursue this troubled neighbor. Could she be trying to “rescue” him? Does she feel motherly toward him and have a need to feel needed? Could she have a crush on him? I don’t know, and neither will you until you calmly discuss this with her in such a way that she doesn’t feel attacked when you bring up the subject. Start now.
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