Daily News | Dear Abby | Self-centered brother has siblings at their wits’ end
I come from a nice family. My siblings are thoughtful and kind, but one of my brothers is a conversational narcissist. He drones on for hours without asking a single question to engage another person.
He sees nothing wrong with talking endlessly about his work and his acquisitions, which interest no one. He will compare, indirectly, my home with his, assuming that his is far superior and better decorated — never considering that my home is just right for me and that I do not lust for more. All of us listen to him and do our best to show an interest without ever receiving that courtesy in return.
How can we nudge him toward showing an interest in others? In his times of need, I have been there for him and listened to his troubles, and I have gotten the impression that he’s kinder than any of us have assumed, given his self-centered ramblings. Is there any way to influence him toward being a more thoughtful conversationalist?Yes, there is.
If no one has the courage to address this, a group intervention may be needed to stanch the motormouth. However, if this is more than any of you want to risk, see this sibling separately one-on-one. If he’s not playing to a crowd, he may behave differently.My ex-husband and I divorced three years ago after he had an affair and destroyed our lives . The divorce took about a year. Since then, he has stopped communicating with me and pretends I never existed.
I held on as well for a couple of years, but as time goes on, I am feeling I’m in an increasingly impossible situation. What my ex did and his actions that followed were incredibly cruel. They devastated me. Staying in touch with Dana has slowly become a painful reminder of that and has made it difficult for me to close this unhappy chapter of my life. I don’t want to hurt Dana. I hope that one day she’ll understand, but I feel the need to cease contact in order to heal fully.
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