Daily News | Dear Abby | Recovering alcoholic feels helpless as cousin implodes
We have tried to get him into two or three rehabs, and I can’t count how many times he’s been to the hospital for detox. After his last stint in rehab, he came back and was drinking again three days later. Because I don’t know what else to do, I have committed myself to saying, “Well, if he wants to drink himself to death, there’s nothing I can do.”
Am I doing the right thing or IS there something else I can try? I mean, it’s not my house, so I can’t throw him out. I don’t even broach the subject with my aunt anymore.Congratulations for hanging onto your sobriety. I can only imagine the stress you are experiencing watching your cousin drink himself to death. If at all possible, it might be beneficial to you if you found other living arrangements while assisting your aunt.
Your aunt — not you — as well-meaning as she may be, is her son’s enabler. Her passivity is partly responsible for what’s happening to her son, not you. You have done everything you can, and you cannot save him from himself. Your aunt may need counseling to help her break the unhealthy pattern that has been set with her son. Please suggest this to her. I hope she is receptive.My friend has this habit of phoning me while she is walking her dog or driving somewhere.
When she walks “Gonzo,” I have to contend with his barking, her admonishing Gonzo for pulling on the leash, or the wind, which makes it difficult to hear her. When she’s driving, the connection is often iffy. She has done this for years, but recently it has started to seriously annoy me. I wish she would call when she’s sitting in a quiet room and not preoccupied with something else. Is that too much to ask? How can I politely tell her this?It shouldn’t be too hard.
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