Her expectations concerning her new husband are unreasonable.
Send your mother and her new husband an anniversary card, as you would any friend or relative you wish to congratulate.
That she would expect you to treat her new husband, a “new addition” to your family, as a father figure is ridiculous. Why are you texting him on Father’s Day? He never was and never will be your “father,” and I don’t think you should be arm-twisted into catering to Mama’s fantasy.After my mother died several years ago, my father’s sometimes violent behavior flared up. A few years ago, I decided to stop spending time with him.
My sister, who has received — and may continue to receive — significant financial support from Dad, is scolding me for it. I have asked her to respect my choice and to stop criticizing, but she continues to contact me, asks to see me, accuses me of “punishing” her and my father over “nothing,” and makes vague apologies for him without referencing specific behavior.I’d like to see her children, but I’m unsure whether she will respect my boundaries if I see her in person.
Ask if she can respect your wishes, and make clear that if it would be too difficult for her, you will understand and not visit. You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and you should not allow yourself to be forced into contact with an abuser.
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