Dear Abby advises a bride whose fiance won’t set a date for their wedding and a person celebrating their sobriety whose mother won’t let them move on.
My fiance and I are going back and forth about setting a date for our wedding. We have begun arguing lately about normal relationship issues. He calls them fights, when all I’m trying to do is express my feelings so we get on the same page. Then, instead of talking, he shuts down and clams up. It makes me crazy.
Premarital counseling allows couples to preempt issues that could cause problems in a marriage, from child rearing to money to sex. If your fiance’s method of handling disagreements is to shut down, there may be a way to correct it during some of those sessions. I’m a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for more than 12 years. My road to sobriety has been long and dark, but I am proud of turning my life around and staying sober. My problem is how my mother treats me about it.
My mother constantly accuses me of falling into my old habits and says I’m lying about it, even though she’s been given truth and proof that I’m not. My long-term boyfriend and other family members can vouch for me. It’s to the point where she’s so in my head and cruel with the things she says that I’m spiraling back into depression, which is taking a toll on my confidence and mental health.
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