Dear Abby: If she calls me dowdy, can I point out she’s fat?

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Dear Abby: If she calls me dowdy, can I point out she’s fat?
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My wife doesn’t like the way I dress and berates me in front of family.

Every day, my wife complains about my appearance, comparing me with other fathers. She has no problem yelling about it in front of my kids or her family. This happens often.

Since she seems to have no problem saying anything about my appearance, can I say something about the weight she has gained over the last couple of years? Since she says stuff like that to me, I think it’s only fair that I should be allowed to say something to her.Say anything you wish, but before you open your mouth, ask yourself whether it would be helpful or inflame the situation.

Finally, I figured that he’s ghosting me and no longer wants to be bothered with me but doesn’t want to say it. So I told him I didn’t want to add to his stress, that I felt he was over our relationship and I wouldn’t bother him anymore. I know that. I understand grieving. But am I supposed to just wait until he feels like talking or being bothered with me, for however long it takes?

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