I wish I had the courage to leave, but I feel defeated because I just turned 60. Please help.
DEAR D and H: You are not a failure. Your husband is. The surest way to find out “what went wrong” and begin rebuilding your self-esteem would be to discuss this entire scenario BY YOURSELF with a licensed marriage and family therapist. The reason you haven’t left this marriage may be that you are self-conscious about your age or think nothing is worse than being alone. Life does not end at 60, and THIS is worse than being alone.
My issue is that I’m tired of hearing about all their family drama. They all seem to be upset with one family member or another for whatever ridiculous reason. How can I remind them that having each other around is a blessing? Living alone on the other side of the country is very lonely. I plan on retiring in the next couple of years and had always thought I’d move closer to them then. But now I’m afraid of becoming one of the pawns in their “who are we all mad at this month?” game. Advice? -- BROTHER WITH A DIFFERENCE
DEAR BROTHER: Few families are completely free of “issues,” but successful ones manage to maneuver around them. Reminding your siblings how fortunate they are to have each other so close geographically should be raised privately with each of them, so you can explain your reasons for saying it. It might be the wake-up call they need.
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