Dear Abby advises someone who is grossed out by their handyman, someone who is frequently stuck doing their colleague’s work for them, and a woman stuck in an abusive marriage.
I have a handyman doing work on my home. I noticed that when he uses the bathroom, he is in there a while and going number two. My anxiety levels are through the roof. Do I tell him anything, and what should I say? —May I share a truism? When we gotta go, we gotta go. If your handyman leaves the bathroom in the same condition when he exits as when he goes in there, you have nothing to be “anxious” about. Be gracious, and when you need a handyman there will always be someone willing to help you.
In the morning he expects me to be happy and cheerful as if nothing went on the night before. I have tried to discuss this with him, but it doesn’t help. After years of this, I have become depressed and would really appreciate your advice. —You are married to an alcoholic. Marriage to a verbally abusive alcoholic would make anybody depressed! I can only wonder why you have chosen to tolerate this for so long.
The path toward a solution to your problem would start with locating the nearest Al-Anon meeting and attending some of them. If you do, you will find the support and help you are looking for. You can find a nearby meeting by visiting al-anon.org/info. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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