As one peer put it, ‘Alana is the definition of a hard working Google employee; she will do whatever it takes to get the job done.’ Except there was a monster inside her.
TweetShareShare This piece is selected from an ongoing series, chronicling my 17 years at Google and the performance feedback that has helped to shape my career. People often wonder what has motivated me to stay so long at one company. I usually tell them it’s the people and career opportunities that Google affords; it’s also the ability to level up my personal growth.
Despite my best intentions and efforts, through 2008 I received feedback about managing my stress, appearing more approachable and watching for my tone consistently. Below are a few examples: Except there was a monster inside me. For every patient moment I had, I added a drop to an ever-filling bucket of annoyance coupled with fatigue. I had a bad stomach, started getting migraines and had bouts of insomnia. There were parts of my job I dreaded, like speaking with angry customers or giving a difficult performance review.
That’s how I would rationalize it today, but really I was a stress ball and sometimes I popped seemingly at random. And when I popped, I didn’t yell. I got harsh. I was raised in New Jersey, and I have an engrained cutting sarcasm that requires little thought to deploy. Or I cut people off, completely drained of patience for their sentence to end. Or I’ll jump all over them for a seemingly little problem that I would normally brush off.
1. Try all the usual recommended things They’re recommended for a reason: This includes: more sleep, exercise, eating better, sticking to a set work schedule, and meditation. They may not all work for you, but some will click and exploration may lead you to other options. I found out that I enjoy a weekly Pilates class and routine breathing exercises. I eventually started going to therapy regularly and talking out loud about my frustrations.
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