David Harbour and Lily Allen are dating, a revelation that shocked my whole Twitter timeline so hard I thought the website would crash. I think their love is nice, though, or at least interesting. Also interesting: Harbour is a big fan of Allen’s butt, in addition to, I can only presume, her wit and intelligence and overall inner personhood.
John Legend
is the IRL sexiest man alive. “Alright John Legend, but not the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’!” she said on her show on Wednesday. It seems she, like myMaria Sherman, thinks he’s a tad too youthful to warrant real fuck fantasies. “Like, he’s cute,” she said. I think ‘People’ magazine needs to take away this ‘sexist people alive’ thing because there’s not one person about everything. When I think about a sexy man, I’m not thinking about John Legend, only because the first thing I think of is, I weigh so much more than him. If we were walking down the street and someone wanted to spray me with a water gun, I need a man who’s going to punch someone in the face… Like that.
You know who I like, and he’s not even the sexiest man alive — and I usually don’t like facial hair, but, in new my life, I’m meeting a lot of new men and if I could think of one person it’d be
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