“The whole thing is pretty lopsided: If I comment that someone seems to be drinking too much, I’m judgmental, or a prude. But my not drinking is fair game for critique”
Photo-Illustration: J.V. Aranda Welcome to It’s Complicated, stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships.
“Everyone drinks,” he said, and before I knew it, he had one hand on the back of my neck, trying to pull me in for a kiss. I shoved him off, dropping my drink all over his dingy rug. Later, when I was trying to navigate my way out of the frat house, he snuck up behind me, almost like he wanted to dance. He wrapped one arm across my shoulders, whipped out the vodka, and tried to pour it down my throat.
I’m an unusual kind of sober. I like wine, and sip it if I’m out with friends or at a party. But that’s usually it. I don’t mind being around alcohol and have clocked more hours as a hair holder-back-er and hangover cure deliverer than any person should. A year before I moved to New York, I was at lunch with a guy I’d known for a few years – one with whom I’d and participated in the on-again, off-again disaster borderline synonymous with millennial relationships – when the conversation turned to a party happening later that week. “But I couldn’t take you. Because you don’t drink,” he said with a shrug. I gestured to the glass of wine sitting in front of me. He shook his head.
And in his eyes, I’d signaled the opposite: that I couldn’t have fun, that I was socially awkward. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d wanted a drink more than anything in the world, because there, across from him mentally crossing me off his list, I was busy swallowing down my own shame. A couple weeks ago, I went out on a first date with a guy who showed up to the restaurant already three beers deep. Though I was cool with him drinking , it was clear he was uncomfortable.
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