I understand more than the average person about cryptocurrency. I do not understand cryptocurrency.
If you watched the Super Bowl this past weekend you were no doubt barraged by an unrelenting torrent of floating QR codes and big-budget celebrity-laden adds for cryptocurrency. Public faces like Tom and Giselle, Matt Damon and Larry David occasionally extolled the virtues of decentralized digital currencies but more often sought to stoke a sense of FOMO in the viewing audience who likely have no idea what the hell crypto is.
With his “Fortune favors the brave” ad, Matt Damon is basically calling you a coward if you don’t cash out your 401K and put it in Dogecoin. You may have no idea how this stuff works but trust me, a recognizable celebrity, you’re missing out! The best description I’ve ever heard of crypto, and I forget where I heard it, described the sea of tokens as “a great way for libertarians to get robbed.” The big-budget ads and trusted celebrity endorsements are designed to give an air of legitimacy to an asset class that’s inherently volatile.
Decentralized currency is just that, decentralized. Some dude in a tracksuit in Belarus hacked your wallet and pinched all your Bitcoin? That sounds like a “you” problem. Forgot the password to your cold storage? Bummer, try your dog’s birthday. Despite the big money crypto exchanges are pumping into media buys the crypto world is still very much swim at your own risk.
That’s not to say that crypto is just another speculative bubble like Beanie Babies, pogs or my embarrassingly large comic book collection. There is real utility in the technology around crypto like the open public ledger blockchain and digital smart contracts. But as the market currently exists, crypto bears a striking resemblance to the other business making big ad buys on the Super Bowl — sports betting.
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