An Afghan refugee plays three roles — mother, father, sibling — caring for his baby brother
By the time Zabih returned home around 9 p.m. each night, Mojib was in bed. It was their mother, Zakia, who fed, bathed and sang the little boy to sleep. Mojib didn’t even know his older brother’s name, referring to him by his nickname, “Engineer.”
One night in Qatar, he learned the hard way that his brother needed to sleep in diapers. The next morning, he bathed a soiled Mojib with a water bottle. But there were tough times, too. Like the night he and Mojib were kicked out of family housing because Zabih did not have a wife and was not considered part of a family. The two were moved to lodging for singles.
When Zabih started his first job at 7-Eleven, he tried to get Mojib into day care. But he couldn’t, he said, because he isn’t the boy’s parent and didn’t have the authority to enroll him. He found someone to watch Mojib in El Cajon. But he didn’t have a driver’s license or a car, so he couldn’t drop his brother off at the sitter’s. Zabih had to cut back on his hours and rely on another Afghan family living at the hotel to watch his brother.“If I’m sad, never I show for the baby,” he said.
The boy set aside clothes and shoes for his older brother in Afghanistan. They were, he said, too big for him. He did not understand how far away his loved ones remained. Once in the tub, Mojib told his brother he didn’t need shampoo. Zabih washed his hair anyway, his arms flecked with soap. Zabih stepped one foot into the water to lift his brother up and out.
At 8:30 p.m., after eating dinner, Zabih removed Mojib’s Paw Patrol slippers. The two settled together on the hotel bed and called home. Zakia repeated her youngest son’s name over and over, trying to get his attention.“I miss you,” Zakia said in Hazaragi. As his mother spoke, the boy covered his face with his hands and curled into his brother. Zabih had to coax him into speaking with their parents.
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