Families are more anxious than ever to find out what happens in school. But there may be value in a measure of not-knowing and not-telling.
, conducted in August, thirty-five per cent of K-12 parents said that they were “completely satisfied” with the quality of their oldest child’s education, while forty-one per cent were “somewhat satisfied.”panic room, tensions continue to vibrate in subtler ways. Michael Thompson is a child psychologist, a school consultant, and the author of several best-selling parenting books; he began his career in education fifty-three years ago, as a middle-school teacher.
The parent’s dilemma fits readily into a Winnicottian framework: the child losing control over his mother begins to steal, and the parents losing control over their child begin to hover and meddle. If we wish to add a bit of Winnicott’s flair for drama, we could also say that the child, lacking full possession of his school world, “will become split in his person; split into two parts.” By asking my son about his imaginary brother, I had caused him shame.
“If I were in charge of the world,” Thompson told me, “every teacher would be given the time and the compensation to visit every child’s home before the school year started.” Barring that, he said, teachers should ask parents three questions: Is there anything I should know about your child? Is there anything in particular that you are hoping for your child this year? And what are your worries? “These questions need to be asked and answered in person or on the phone,” Thompson went on.
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