Can Knowing the “Real Rules” Help Us Co-Exist?

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Can Knowing the “Real Rules” Help Us Co-Exist?
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Entering a new job, or even a new country, means there will be unwritten social norms you have to learn. Here's one way to figure out how to act.

Knowing social norms can lead to thriving, but not knowing them can become a barrier to entry and to success.My bike on the trails near Grünau im Almtal, AustriaWe’ve all had this experience in some way or another: You find yourself in a new environment, and you don’t know what the rules are for how you should behave. What I mean is that you don’t know the “real rules.

But this was not the rhythm of the scientists. They often arrived later in the morning, they worked different hours, didn’t take lunch breaks, sometimes ate dinner at the office, often handled personal and work tasks during the day, put their feet up on their desks to read academic papers or ponder statistical results, and wore clothing that was sometimes not ironed. The women tended not to wear makeup, and young scientists openly disagreed with senior scientists. It was a different world.

my co-authors and I examine how people not born in the U.S., but currently attending a U.S. university, perceive American norms. We created our own protocol for gathering information: We described two scenarios that are known to vary across countries . After reading the scenario, we asked U.S. and non-U.S.-born subjects to play a game.

For example, if the respondent was from a country where people often arrive late to events, then they told us that arriving late was collectively viewed as more appropriate than their U.S. counterparts. We also found that when we asked them to tell us what the U.S. norms were, they were able to predict very well that tipping 20 percent and arriving on time are the most appropriate actions to take here in the U.S.

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