Being aware of an adult child's manipulations can help parents say 'Enough!' and set healthy boundaries. Here's how, writes DrJeff4Help
When adult children are hurting they may try to hurt their parents through manipulative and hurtful statements.Having self-awareness to know when enough is enough and being assertive will help avoid being drawn in and enabling the behavior.
When I coach parents of adult children, they often share soundbites of feeling manipulated by very provocative and incendiary comments. Here are some examples of these crisis-laden, guileful soundbites: Julia told me how wiped out she felt after hearing her 27-year-old angry daughter say things such as:Terry recounted to me about his 24-year-old son with addictions who says:Terry further shared how his son throws at him,"You are the reason I have to use drugs.""I thought I could count on you, but obviously I can't!" and"Fine, I'll just end up homeless!"I realize that there truly are many toxic parents of adult children out there.
At the same time, some parents try their best while falling far short of being perfect. Don't compromise your worth by riding on a horse named Victim and repeatedly heading to the same rodeo. Don't blame your parents for your own struggles without also taking a look in the mirror. Ask yourself how you can move toward your own valuable independence.
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