Nearly two decades after first reading “Bear,” a 1976 novel by Marian Engel, clairecameron picked up the book again. “It read, this time, like an elaborate fantasy—about a woman who becomes free to focus on herself,” she writes.
When I picked it up that night, the words didn’t swirl and spin, as the rest of the world seemed to be doing; they stayed put and invited me in. It read, this time, like an elaborate fantasy—about a woman who becomes free to focus on herself. Lou describes her life in the city as colorless. Of Lou’s time with a former lover, Engel writes, “He loved her as long as the socks were folded.” Lou has an affair with her boss, which continues merely out of habit.
Another thirteen years passed. I was in the middle of an investigation. I had been cleaning my office and found a collection of files about a bear attack that had happened in 1991, near where I worked at the time. In a rare fatal attack against humans, two campers had been killed by a black bear, which had partially devoured the bodies of the victims, while leaving their food untouched.
After the interview, I checked into a motel. I picked up the copy of “Bear” I’d thrown into my bag. A paperback edition showed a woman’s back with four bloodied scars on the cover, which mark the turning point in Lou’s relationship with the bear. That night, I read a story about a woman who crosses the line between reality and myth. Lou is from a people who define themselves apart from the wilderness, living inside a colonial imagination. The books that Lou is cataloguing, in Colonel Cary’s library, have been procured from various places to make an “island kingdom, safely hedged by books.” Lou knows that she can paint any face she wants on the bear, and that feeling loved by him is her invention.
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