Disagreements around the table have become a Turkey Day cliché — and for most families, they're unavoidable
doesn't mean shouting louder or arguing harder. It means figuring out when things are worth debating — and how to debate them respectfully.1. A little humility goes a long way.
"We should remind ourselves that winning is something we worry about on the football field, and not with our friends and family," says Jim Otteson, a professor of business ethics at Notre Dame. "It's okay to let other people score points." Older generations especially value respect and can shut down if they feel disrespected, Stanford Martin says. Try giving credit for salient points and leading with respect when debating with your older family members.It's unlikely you'll change someone's view in one conversation, but the debate is still worth having.
When you've acknowledged that you might not agree before the debate even begins, there's less pressure to win and more desire to understand, Stanford Martin notes.Support your arguments with things you've personally witnessed or experienced instead of generalizations.If someone doesn't want to listen and dominates the conversation, you can walk away.
If you need to diffuse a situation, try to "block and bridge," Otteson says. "You can say, 'Oh, that's interesting,' without engaging with the point to 'block' it, and then 'bridge' to a new topic.""Disagreement is inevitable," Stanford Martin says. "It's part of life, and when it's healthy, it makes our relationships and our communities stronger.
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