two little boys in a flower field arguing over a large sunflower
Q: My two-year-old has a total meltdown every time his older sister is invited to something and he isn't. She gets lots of birthday party invites and he can't always come. He's too little to really understand why, how do we handle this so she still feels like she has things that are just hers.This is the thing, though: You will never be able to make things equal or fair between your kids.
And if you try to make it fair, that can create its own set of problems. Take your example: If you don’t let your daughter go, she misses out on the party. If you get your son an invite to the birthday party, you are sending the message to both kids that you don’t think he can handle the disappointment of staying home.
Resilience is one of the greatest predictors of a happy and successful life. Resilience is not that we don’t get upset about things; it’s that we can recover from failure or disappointment. When your son is upset, focus on keeping yourself calm and loving and empathize with him about how hard it is. Empathy doesn’t necessarily mean using words. Empathy is being with another person in their suffering.
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