DEAR AMY: Recently, my biological father emailed me to say he’d like to get to know me. We’ve never met. He is 81, I am 64.
He had long denied that I’m his son, and until recently had been very hostile to any attempt on my part to be in touch.He was a successful businessman and is the patriarch of a large family.I have politely responded to his emails, but I have decided that I am not interested in an email relationship with a near-complete stranger, whom I don’t know and have zero affinity with.He responded by saying it would be a waste of my time and money if I have no desire to develop a relationship with him.
One reason some people prefer to communicate via email versus in person is because they are more in control of the conversation when they are corresponding. This lowers the risk that they will encounter the other person’s visceral reactions. You two seem locked in a skirmish for who gets to control the conversation, but hey - that’s easier than actually communicating.
My sons told their father that I’m their mother and he is their father and that they would not disown neither one of us.Now it’s been 12 years. My ex died of lung cancer. His family never notified my sons that their father was dying or had died. I found out by accident when I ran into my ex’s distant cousin. My ex was an alcoholic and he drank till the day he died.
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