He has abided by their no-badmouthing agreement, but she hasn’t.
The way you present it, your choice to disclose this seems motivated mainly by the desire to retaliate against a parent who has not abided by their agreement. But retaliation does not balance the scales. It doubles down.
Also, she wants to cook him a roast and potatoes for dinner. I don’t eat either of these things, so is it rude to cook my own meal? Cleaning and cooking are how your mother-in-law is expressing her gratitude for the visit. She is trying to mother both of you, and you would be gracious to accept her efforts.
Your advice was generally well-founded. And your suggestion to “find ways to be physically close without having sex” is good. But based on my 40 years of experience as a Board-Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, most couples in this situation would have a hard time bridging this gap on their own.
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