Can she bring up her husband’s weight without making him feel “ashamed or judged?”
My issue is his health. I’m terrified of him having a heart attack or a stroke. He is a smart guy and knows he needs to lose weight, but the problem is that he won’t try. He eats bags of cookies, brownies and fast food. He refuses to go to the doctor, because he says he “needs to lose weight first,” but he won’t make the effort to do so. He hasn’t had a physical in more than seven years.
People sometimes overeat for a variety of complicated reasons, and if a person is committed to diving in and decoding these reasons and triggers, it can help them to regain a sense of control. A nutritionist can help to reset some of these behaviors through education and coaching; a therapist can help by talking about stress and offering coping techniques. You could open this up as a topic, if he is willing to discuss it.
There is a woman living in my town who always calls me “Janet,” even though my daughter and I have told her many times what my real name is. Yesterday in a grocery store, she called me “Janet” twice, and I didn’t answer because my back was turned, so I didn’t see her and — hello — it’s not my name. She then came up to me, addressed me as “Janet” and asked me a question.— Bugged in a Small TownI wonder whether you’ve ever told this person that your name, “Jan,” is not short for “Janet.
The next time this happens, be patient: “You always call me Janet, but I get confused because that’s not my name. My folks named me Jan. It’s not short for Janet. It’s just Jan. So you can call me ‘Just Jan’ if you want, but I really do not answer to Janet.” After that, if you continue to be misnamed, I think you should accept it as a quirk, and choose to greet it with a sigh.
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