When it’s your child who is out of control, it’s easy to be scared and to feel powerless. But we aren’t, and they aren’t either.
have a coexisting condition. About 50 percent of adults and 30 percent of children with ADHD have an anxiety disorder. The conditions have unique symptoms, but sometimes they mirror each other. It was agonizing to see Kylie in the throes of an anxiety attack. It still is, but they are rare and short now, thanks to her medicine and the strategies we discovered to move her through an attack.
So what can you do? Start by holding her close and being a lifeline she can cling to. Tell her that it is just a false alarm, that it’s an anxiety attack and that sheHere are a few things that have worked for my daughter. Then I walk her through some slow breathing. I tell her to breathe and to find the touch points of where she is — what can she see, hear, smell, or feel. You can’t do much more than talk someone through it if she is on the phone. So take a breath yourself and settle in for a few minutes because it may take a little while until you can calm her down enough to get to the root of the issue.
When you slow your breath to match someone else’s, your nervous system resets. When we are hugging or close enough, I tell her to feel my heartbeat, to concentrate on that. Sometimes I hug her until I feel her give in, to relax into me. Lean into a hug like that and she’ll let go; she will unclench her straining, tense shoulders and feel them slide back down away from her ears. Her body and breath will attune to yours. Like magic.
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