Each fall, fresh crops of little Virgos and Libras have holiday boning to thank for their birthdays, an odd phenomenon since Christmas is a day supposedly set aside to celebrate a baby born of no boning. Perhaps the fact that so many of us owe our lives to all the fucking that happens during the month of December is the reason that Christmas sex is without a doubt one of the most popular subjects for holiday songs, second only to the virgin birth of Christ himself. But not all Christmas sex song genres are created equal—some are much more festive than others.
Here are the types of Christmas sex songs ranked, according to me. Feel free to get tipsy and fight me in the comments like we’re a real family and it’s Christmas Eve.
This brand of Christmas song is akin to being cornered at a holiday gathering by an uncle who has had too many hot toddies and not enough sausage balls and being forced to hear his boozy remembrances of wives past told with the solemnity best reserved for the no-room-at-the-inn part of the nativity story. Save your sad stories for Valentine’s Day. Christmas is a time for pretending to be happy.
Brasil Últimas Notícias, Brasil Manchetes
Similar News:Você também pode ler notícias semelhantes a esta que coletamos de outras fontes de notícias.
Miley Cyrus Posted a Touching Tribute to Everyone Feeling Lonely Over the HolidaysMiley Cyrus Posted A Touching Tribute To Everyone Feeling Lonely Over The Holidays
Consulte Mais informação »
Songs, quotes and prayers to get you in the Hanukkah spiritSure, Christmas dominates the holiday song charts, but Hanukkah has a few good beats as well.
Consulte Mais informação »
Miley Cyrus Posted a Touching Tribute to Everyone Feeling Lonely Over the HolidaysThe singer shared a Christmas song she wrote four years ago capturing the feeling.
Consulte Mais informação »
I'm (Not) Sorry, but 'My Only Wish' by Britney Spears Is the Most Underrated Christmas Song EverIt's the ONLY Christmas song from Britney we have, so respect it, mmkay?
Consulte Mais informação »
A Real Fine Place to Start: 20 Years of Country Hits by WomenImportant songs by Maren Morris, Taylor Swift, Gretchen Wilson, Sara Evans illustrate how the genre has changed
Consulte Mais informação »
Cody Simpson Seen With Model, Miley Cyrus Posts ''Sad X-Mas Song''Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson went public with a relationship in October, but she was MIA as he was spotted walking with Jordy Murray just before Christmas.
Consulte Mais informação »