See where “You Need to Calm Down” enters our ranking of every Taylor Swift song
In this business, there are two subjects that will boost your page views like nothing else: Game of Thrones and Taylor Swift. One of them is a massive, multi-million-dollar enterprise filled with violence and betrayal, and the other airs on HBO.
126. “Look What You Made Me Do,” Reputation : “There’s a mistake that I see artists make when they’re on their fourth or fifth record, and they think innovation is more important than solid songwriting,” Swift told New York back in 2013. “The most terrible letdown as a listener for me is when I’m listening to a song and I see what they were trying to do.” To Swift’s credit, it took her six records to get to this point.
120. “Santa Baby,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection : Before Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me,” there was only one holiday song about falling in love with Santa, and for some reason, we spent decades making all our young female singers cover it. Swift’s version leans out of the awkwardness by leaning into the materialism; she puts most of her vocal emphasis on the nice presents she hopes Santa will bring her.
116. “Invisible,” Taylor Swift: Special Edition : A bonus track from the debut that plays like a proto–”You Belong With Me.” The “show you” / “know you” rhymes mark this as an early effort. 112. “White Christmas,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection : The most bluegrass of Swift’s Christmas tunes, this gentle rendition sees Swift’s vocals cede center stage to the mandolin and fiddle.
108. “Superman,” Speak Now: Deluxe Edition : A bonus track that’s not gonna make anyone forget Five for Fighting any time soon. 104. “The Lucky One,” Red : A plight-of-fame ballad from the back half of Red, with details that never rise above cliché and a melody that borrows from the one Swift cooked up for “Untouchable.”
100. “Breathless,” Hope for Haiti Now : Swift covered this Better Than Ezra deep cut for the Hope for Haiti telethon. With only one take to get it right, she did not let the people of Haiti down. 96. “The Outside,” Taylor Swift : If you thought you felt weird judging songs by a high-schooler, here’s one by an actual sixth-grader. “The Outside” was the second song Swift ever wrote, and though the lyrics edge into self-pity at times, this is still probably the best song written by a 12-year-old since Mozart’s “Symphony No. 7 in D Major.”
92. “Innocent,” Speak Now : The disparate reactions to Kanye West stage-crashing Swift at the 2009 VMAs speaks to the Rorschachian nature of Swift’s star image. Was Swift a teenage girl whose moment was ruined by an older man who couldn’t control himself? Or was she a white woman playing the victim to demonize an outspoken black man? Both are correct, which is why everyone’s spent so much time arguing about it.
88. “Come in With the Rain,” Fearless: Platinum Edition : An ode to a long-lost lover that follows the Swift template a tad too slavishly. 84. “King of My Heart,” Reputation : Swift is fond of saying that “songs are what you think of on the drive home — you know, the Great Afterthought.” Anyway, I think that’s why some of the love songs on Reputation don’t quite land: Swift is writing about a relationship from inside of it, instead of with hindsight. It’s a different skill, which could explain why the boyfriend character here is less vividly sketched than some of her other ones.
80. “Nashville,” Speak Now World Tour – Live; Target edition DVD : Swift gives some shine to singer-songwriter David Mead with a cover of his 2004 ballad. She treats it with a delicate respect, like she’s handling her grandmother’s china. 76. “The Other Side of the Door,” Fearless: Platinum Edition : A bonus track saved from mediocrity by a gutsy outro that hints that Swift, like any good millennial, was a big fan of “Semi-Charmed Life.”
72. “Haunted,” Speak Now : In which Swift tries her hand at Evanescence-style goth-rock. She almost pulls it off, but at this point in Swift’s career her voice wasn’t quite strong enough to give the unrestrained performance the song calls for. 68. “Sweeter Than Fiction,” One Chance soundtrack : Swift’s first collaboration with Jack Antonoff is appropriately ’80s-inspired, and so sugary that a well-placed key change in the chorus is the only thing that staves off a toothache.
64. “How You Get the Girl,” 1989 : The breeziest and least complicated of Swift’s guy-standing-on-a-doorstep songs, which contributed to the feeling that 1989 was something of an emotional regression. You probably shouldn’t take it as an instruction manual unless you’re Harry Styles. 60. “Sparks Fly,” Speak Now : This one dates back to Swift’s high-school days, and was destined for obscurity until fans fell in love with the live version. After what seems like a lot of tinkering, it finally got a proper studio release on Swift’s third album. It’s like “True Love Waits,” but with more kissing in the rain.The song where Swift came out as an LGBTQ ally, and buried the hatchet with Katy Perry, all at the same time.
55. “Ours,” Speak Now: Deluxe Edition : It’s not this song’s fault that the extended version of Speak Now has songs called both “Mine” and “Ours,” and while “Ours” is good … well, it’s no “Mine.” Still, even if this song never rises above cuteness, it is incredibly cute. I think Dad’ll get over the tattoos.
51. “Last Kiss,” Speak Now : A good-bye waltz with an understated arrangement that suits the starkness of the lyrics. 47. “I Almost Do,” Red : The kind of plaintive breakup song Swift could write in her sleep at this point in her career, with standout guitar work and impressive vulnerability in both lyrics and performance.
43. “Jump Then Fall,” Fearless: Platinum Edition : An effervescent banjo-driven love song. I get a silly kick out of the gag in the chorus, when Swift’s voice leaps to the top of her register every time she says “jump.” 39. “Holy Ground,” Red : This chugging rocker nails the feeling of reconnecting with an ex and romanticizing the times you shared, and it livens up the back half of Red a bit. Probably ranked too high, but this is my list and I’ll do what I want.
35. “Treacherous,” Red : Swift has rarely been so tactile as on this intimate ballad, seemingly constructed entirely out of sighs. 31. “Dress,” Reputation : An appropriately slinky track that gives us an unexpected payoff for years of lyrics about party dresses: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” she says in the chorus. The way the whole song starts and stops is an obvious trick, but I like it.
27. “Delicate,” Reputation : With multitracked, breathy vocals, this is Swift at her most tentative. Would any other album’s Taylor be asking, “Is it cool that I said all that?” On an album where Swift attempted to play the villain without much success, the vulnerability plays better: This is the most genuinely sexy song on Reputation.
23. “Picture to Burn,” Taylor Swift : Swift’s breakup songs rarely get more acidic than they do in this country hit. By the time she’s twanging a line about dating all her ex’s friends, things have gotten downright rowdy. The original lyrics — “Go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy / That’s fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay” — show how far standards for acceptable speech in nice young people have shifted in the past decade.
19. “Dear John,” Speak Now : “I’ve never named names,” Swift once told GQ. “The fact that I’ve never confirmed who those songs are about makes me feel like there is still one card I’m holding.” That may technically be true, but she came pretty dang close with this seven-minute epic.
15. “Mean,” Speak Now : It takes some chutzpah to put a song complaining about mean people on the same album as “Better Than Revenge,” but lack of chutzpah has never been Swift’s problem. Get past that and you’ll find one of Swift’s most naturally appealing melodies and the joyful catharsis that comes with giving a bully what’s coming to them.
11. “Wildest Dreams,” 1989 : Swift is in full control of her instrument here, with so much yearning in her voice that you’d swear every breath was about to be her last. For a singer often slammed as being sexless, those sighs in the chorus tell us everything we need to know. Bumped up a few spots for the invigorating double-time bridge, the best on 1989.
7. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” Red : Flash back to 2012. Carly Rae Jepsen had a No. 1 hit. Freaking Gotye had a No. 1 hit. LMFAO had two. And yet Swift, arguably the biggest pop star in the country, had never had a No. 1 hit. And so she called up Swedish pop cyborg Max Martin, the man who makes hits as regularly as you and I forget our car keys.
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