We aren’t recovering from the physical act of having a baby. So why do we feel we deserve leave?
, told Scary Mommy that adoptive parents and their child–also known as the adoptee–need time to bond since the child hasn’t been with the family for the duration of a pregnancy. In the case of adopting an older child, the transition time is “critical to their long-term mental health and feeling of stability.”
Some in the adoption community refer to this this break as “the primal wound”—and believe it can traumatize the adopteeOlder children who spent time in an orphanage, foster home, or group home—and many of whom were transferred from place to place many times—also need time to get established with their new family.
In our case, one day I was painting my kitchen and grading student essays, and the next day I was in the car, headed out of state to meet my new daughter. Because of ICPC regulations, my husband and I spent about five days after we gained custody of our daughter at a friend’s house and then a hotel. We spent hours holding, feeding, and bathing our new baby. We got to know her—her personality, her preferences, and her appearance. We couldn’t get enough of our new bundle of joy.
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