Dr. Alison Holman fields audience questions on how to discuss traumatic events with children in the wake of the Sunset Park shooting.
Holman explained why it’s important for parents to address the event, rather than to downplay or ignore it, unless a child raises the issue. She offered different conversational tips based on the age of the child and advice for parents seeking ways to cope.Sean Carson: Dr. Holman, an audience member named Fred Lassen said his second-grader had to shelter in place, but that his kid wasn’t told the reason why.
A primary caregiver should also try to place it in a broader context as well. The media shows things, and it seems like those things may be more frequent than they actually are. The true risk for you is very low. Reassure them in this way, and tell them that you're going to do everything you can to keep them safe.
It's probably good not to say that the person is still on the loose because that would probably raise somebody's anxiety. How you want to describe the person is another question. I'm not sure if there's any specific research that tells us what the best way is to talk about the shooter per se.I would say focus on helping your child develop a sense of security that you're there. That you're, as I mentioned before, confident in your ability to take care of them.
It's very important for parents to manage their distress. In our research on 9/11, we found that a parent's distress or a parent’s experience in the aftermath was associated with greater post-traumatic stress symptoms and distress in the adolescents, in their lives and in their families. Again, that's why it's very important to make sure that they understand to stay off too much media. I'm sorry to say this to somebody who works in the media.And with the younger children, you don't have to go into too much explanation of the details. Just provide them with that basic sense of security and confidence.
It would also be good for parents at this point to let their children know that the authorities have arrested somebody who is a suspect in the case, and that officials believe that the situation has returned back to normal in the subway.
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