How to free yourself from indecision and constant rumination when you have a major decision to make, writes ncolier
Decisions are difficult because we want a certain outcome, but we don’t know which choice will deliver it.Ask yourself what growing opportunities each choice offers.Making a difficult decision can be overwhelming and paralyzing for some people. Decisions are difficult because we want a certain outcome but don’t know which choice will deliver it. And so we fret, ruminate, think and think and think some more, all in an effort to figure it out.
But what if trying to figure out which choice leads to the best future isn’t the best way to make a difficult decision? And, furthermore, what if the rightness of your choice doesn’t rest on whether you get what you think you want? Jenny was contacted by a recruiter who offered her a new job. While she enjoyed her current work, was well paid, and had built a solidin her current position, the new position offered a chance to learn a different set of skills that she thought might be more marketable in the long term. The new opportunity also felt compelling as a potential step into a fresh and promising field. But it was also daunting, and she knew it would be demanding of her effort and time.
Jenny was asking herself the wrong question, and, so, I asked her a different one. Namely, I asked her to describe the challenges and opportunities that each of her choices offered her. Turning down the new position was an opportunity to give herself permission to actually land where she was, to enjoy the relationships,, and expertise she’d built in her current position. Saying “no” felt like allowing herself, maybe for the first time ever, to stop pushing herself and relentlessly proving that she could do hard things.
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