“For many couples, it’s the biggest stressor they’ve ever faced.'
, tells SELF. In addition to these topics, couples may also want to discuss their views on details like genetic testing, whether they want to freeze embryos for future use, and who they want to regularly update throughout the process .“Everyone processes and copes with emotions differently,” Dr. Crone says. This means that it’s really important to remember that your partner isn’t going to always experience things the exact way you are. “That doesn’t mean you aren’t in it together,” Dr.
Ultimately, try to avoid judging how your partner copes, even if it’s different from how you do it. “Just see it as ‘This is how they process and how I process,’ and then aim to find the middle ground,” Nordquist says. The reality is that there’s no right or wrong way to cope, Dr. Crone says. Having said that, it’s totally understandable to want or need extra support during this time, which is when a therapist or other mental health professional might be able to step in .“The couples who do end up closer after all this are the ones that have figured out communication strategies,” Dr. Grill says. She recommends the “speaker-listener technique” to foster good communication and build empathy.
A tip from Nordquist: “Communicate often and directly about what you both need.” So, for instance, instead of saying, “I want you to be there for me,” explain: “I want you to come to every doctor appointment with me.” It’s better to be direct about the support and actions you’d appreciate from your partner instead of being vague and hoping they’ll figure it out.The way you each prefer to handle good and bad news may differ, Nordquist says, so it can be helpful to establish upfront how you’re going to do that.
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